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Chores, Responsibility, and Helping Out

Dr. G, author of Get the Behavior You Want Without Being the Parent You Hate!, is a national expert on raising responsible, respectful kids. In this podcast episode she talks at length about her philosophy on how to instill responsibility and a strong work ethic in teenagers. She points out that the way parents even define “chores” is very important. In Dr. G’s opinion, cleaning your room isn’t a chore. Chores are things that teens do for the greater good of the family and household. Cleaning up one’s own messes is just expected, it isn’t a chore. Dr. G. also discusses the importance of how, exactly, you ask teens to do their chores, what you do about allowance, when you get teens doing volunteer work, and much more.

[tweet_dis_img inject=”Pushing my kids out of their comfort zone; that’s my job. Great #quote from @AskDocG on the Talking to Teens Podcast! #quoteoftheday #parenting #teenagers #family #kids #comfortzone”][/tweet_dis_img]

9 Clips from this Episode:

How two patients made Dr. G want to study parenting.

Keywords: parenting, outlook on life, optimism, anecdote

Here Dr. G tells the story of two patients, one with debilitating MS and the other with simple back pain. These two patients had dramatically different outlooks on life and it led Dr. G to wonder how parents can help kids develop a more positive outlook.

Your teen’s happiness is NOT a measure of your parenting.

Keywords: good parenting, happiness, false belief, empathy

Somehow our culture has led parents to believe that the most important indicator of how well they are parenting their children is how happy they are at any moment. Dr. G explains why this is a damaging belief.

Doing chores makes teenagers want to spend more time with their family.

Keywords: responsibility, family time, greater good, free time

Studies show that teens who are required to spend more time doing chores around the house for the good of the family are actually more likely to want to spend their free time hanging out with the family. Dr. G explains the research in this mini clip.

What chores should teenagers be expected to do?

Keywords: chores, responsibility, challenge, skills, leading edge of ability, zone of proximal development

At school, we expect that our kids are constantly being challenged with harder and harder tasks. But for some reason we don’t do the same thing with chores at home. Here, Dr. G discusses the importance of keeping teens working at the leading edge of their ability.

Here’s what to do when your teen asks for a new privilege.

Keywords: responsibility, privileges, earning rights, maturity

When your teen wants a new privilege and your gut reaction is that he or she isn’t ready yet, what should you do? Dr. G explains that this is actually a great situation. You can tell your teen that he or she needs to demonstrate more maturity and responsibility before getting this new privilege. Then you can lay out exactly how that would look.

When your teen wants to quit something here’s what you can do.

This clip is for members only. Click here to sign up for a membership!

Keywords: quitting, giving up, important decisions, maturity

If your teen wants to quit band or quit the sports team or quit the drama club, how should you handle it? In this clip, Dr. G reveals a technique for using requests to quit as opportunities to teach your teen an important lesson.

How to build a good work ethic in your teen.

This clip is for members only. Click here to sign up for a membership!

Keywords: work ethic, value of hard work, motivation, drive

One of the biggest things Dr. G is asked about when she speaks to parents and works with corporations is how to instill a better work ethic. She has found that it’s actually surprisingly simple. In fact, it starts with teaching kids to say two very important phrases.

Empowering teenagers to make a difference in the world.

This clip is for members only. Click here to sign up for a membership!

Keywords: community service, helping others, volunteering

Dr. G believes that community service is one of the most important things we can have teens do. It teaches respect, responsibility, and resilience. But how do you get teens interested in volunteering? Dr. G explains how to do it in this mini clip.

Urging teens to use their skills for the greater good.

This clip is for members only. Click here to sign up for a membership!

Keywords: community service, helping others, volunteering, skills, talents, abilities, greater good

One of the best ways to get teenagers to start helping others in your community is to focus on a talent or ability that your teen already enjoys and spends a lot of time on. Then talk to your teen about how he or she could use this talent to help others. Dr. G explains exactly how to do this in this mini clip.

[tweet_dis_img inject=”Teenagers are wired to be passionate. Great #quote from @AskDocG on the Talking to Teens Podcast! #parenting #teenagers #family #kids #growingup #passion”][/tweet_dis_img]

About Dr. Deborah Gilboa

Respected parenting and youth development expert, Deborah Gilboa, MD, is the founder of AskDoctorG.com. Popularly known as Dr. G, her passion for raising kids with character makes her a favorite family physician, media personality, author, speaker, and social influencer. A mom of four boys, she inspires audiences with relatable stories and easy tools to develop crucial life skills in children ages 2-22.

Her work with the deaf community has received national recognition and was the focus of her service as an Albert Schweitzer Fellow and she has received multiple awards for clinical excellence in teaching, including the Alpha Omega Alpha Volunteer Clinical Faculty Award as a Clinical Associate Professor for the University of Pittsburgh School Of Medicine.

Dr. G is the author of multiple books including Get the Behavior You Want Without Being the Parent You Hate! (Demos Publishing) and parenting activity books focusing on building her 3R’s of Parenting: Respect, Responsibility and Resilience.

About Andy

Andy Earle is a researcher at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles, where he studies adolescent risk behavior and the role of parents in helping teens thrive. He publishes papers and speaks to groups of parents about the science of talking to teens. Reach him any time at [email protected]

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